One Thing

I’ve been at this one thing conference for the past few days and it has been an amazing experience. I have come to he conclusion that I am not crazy! Everyone thought John the Baptist was crazy as The Lord prepared him for His calling. That story is true throughout the bible. I feel like I finally have permission to relentlessly pursue the Creator of all things. To put Him in every part of my life no matter how insignificant it may seem. All things work together for the good of those who love The Lord.
My hearts desire these past few weeks has been to be where God is. Just the very thought of it brings me to tears. It's been the literal cry of my heart. "God! I just want to be where You are!!"
I’ve come to a place where I finally have a basic understand the all consuming fire of God’s love. I find that as soon as I think I've grasped a concept there's still so much more to know. I think I understand His and then He pours more and more out on me. I think I comprehend His grace and it overwhelms me. His mercy and truth and life are never ending! Nothing else matters! I don’t want anything else! I just want to be with Him. I've spent so many nights on my face crying out to Him. Worshipping Him. Praying for His power and splendor and majesty to be revealed to others.
I’ve also come to this place where I’ve recognized the terrifying power of God! If you've read any part of the Old Testament you know. I'd been so wrapped up in His love and grace that I realized one day that I don't fear Him like I should. He's given me a holy fear and a holy frustration for more of Him. I’ve had but a glimpse of His splendor and majesty and I can’t help but fall on my face in reverence. I don’t cling to Him out of fear but I obey out of love.
I’m in a place of boldness in Christ Jesus, where fear of nothing on this earth or under this earth is going to inhibit me from my calling and from my sole purpose of bringing glory to His name. Nothing is going to hold me back! I've spent too much of my life in a place of fear. Too much time cowering in the shadow of man. I am made in His perfect love and it casts out all fear. Foolish things in the eyes of man are glorious and pleasing to God.
I love my glorious Savior! More than anything! I am so unbelievably in love with Him. He has captivated my heart and transformed my mind. I can’t stop singing! I'm even writing again. I've not written in years! He's restoring the gifts and talents that I'd forfeited long ago.  I have given Him everything and it has completely changed my life. I can’t even explain this longing for Him. It’s like my very soul is yearning and reaching for Him. Everything that I am cries out for Him. I’ve only had a taste of His glory and as satisfying as it is, it continually creates a deepening hunger for the face of God. I have been consumed and ravished by the Lover of my soul and nothing will ever be the same!

Overwhelmed by Grace

"I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. 
Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. 
The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came over me; I was overcome by distress and sorrow. 
Then I called on the name of the Lord : “ Lord, save me!” 
The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.The Lord protects the unwary; when I was brought low, he saved me. 
Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. " Psalm 116:1-7

 The Lord gave me this passage of scripture this morning and I can’t help but weep reading it. I can’t help but think about His overwhelming love and mercy and grace in my life. In Him I am made whole and complete. 
I’ve been really searching for my identity and for the purpose He has for my life. I know that in Him I live and move and have my being. Apart from Him I am nothing. 
I have found that the closer to Him I get the better I not only see Him, but myself. I can see a reflection of myself in His eyes. 
My heart’s cry this past week has been this: I just want to be where You are. That’s all I want. More than anything this life could offer, I just want to be where He is. I want to be with Him. I’m not looking for emotions or blessings. I’m looking for His face. Oh to kiss the face of my Daddy and lavish Him with love! My spirit yearns for Him so much, there is such a stirring hunger, that it physically pains me. And He’s calling me deeper! He’s calling me into the Holy of Hollies! My Daddy has made a place for me where He is! He desires my presence so much more thanmy limited  humanness ever could desire His! 
Listening to the Bethel Music song “Draw Near” last night brought a whole new revelation. Before it was just my cry to Him, and now it’s His cry to me! I’ve been so overwhelmed by His love and glory that I’ve not stopped weeping since last night. Even now it’s hard to compose myself enough to type this, but I know that this will touch at least one person and ignite a passion so bold and fierce in their hearts that they can’t contain it! 
He has brought me out of death and darkness and depression and despair into a place where I’ve found peace, love, mercy, and an overwhelming abundance of grace. 

I know who I am.